Archive for the 'Self Improvement Hub' Category

How To Transform Your Relationship With Yourself

Thursday, January 1st, 2009

Why do we feel unhappy or unfulfilled in our relationships? Why do we complain, judge others or blame them for our problems? Usually, it’s because we feel that way about our self.

Our relationships and life experiences are a reflection of our inner world. How we see the world and interpret the actions of others depends on our relationship with our self.

To change your relationships with others, you’ve got to change your relationship with yourself.

Own your feelings

Accept that you alone are responsible for the way you think and feel. No one can make you feel that way. Own responsibility for allowing yourself to feel the way you do.

Be self-aware

Step back and observe yourself from a distance. How do you react to people and situations? Are you reacting unconsciously from the “wounded child” or responding in a calm, compassionate manner? When you’re conscious and aware of your feelings in a situation, you have the power to respond, rather than react.

Be authentic

Be true to yourself. There’s no need to put on a mask or a persona for someone else. You are perfect, whole and complete the way you are.

Love yourself unconditionally

Accept yourself for who you are, the parts you like, the parts you don’t. You’re part of divine creation. When you know and believe that, you will love and accept yourself the way you are.

Never belittle yourself

Never put yourself down or disrespect yourself. Don’t allow anyone else to treat you in a way that you don’t approve of. Never accept less than what you deserve – from yourself or anyone else.

Take care of yourself first

Remember the airline stewardess telling you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping the person next to you? You can’t take care of someone else, your family, or your kids, if you don’t take care of yourself first. Make yourself and your health a priority and do what it takes to get well, in every way.

Get in touch with your Higher Self

Your intuition is your Higher Self, the self that knows without knowing, sees without seeing. It is this self that will guide you towards your higher purpose. Any time you spend in meditation, prayer or solitude, cultivating your relationship with your higher self, will be time well spent.

Learn to connect with yourself at a deeper level, find your purpose, and understand your role in the universe. It will transform your relationship with yourself, and with everyone in your life.

Priya Shah - EzineArticles Expert Author

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Copyright © Priya Shah

Priya Shah blogs on self-improvement and spirituality. Get more relationship tips and advice and free self-improvement resources.

This article may be reprinted as long as the resource box is left intact and all links are hyperlinked.

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Coaching Generation X

Thursday, January 1st, 2009

It has been said that Generation X is the most ignored, misunderstood, and disheartened generation our country has seen in a long time. No one can define who belongs to Generation X. While most agree that there is a generation after the Boomers, no one agrees on who it is. In a September 23, 1996, article in USA Today, six experts defined Generation X, each with a different answer. They ranged anywhere from those born between 1961 to 1981 (78 to 85 million) to those born between 1965 to 1976 (46 million). Although Generation X appears to be the accepted term, other labels have been applied. William Strauss and Neil Howe refer to them as the Thirteenth Generation (the thirteenth generation since the founding of our country). Baby Busters and Twenty-somethings have also been used.

One of the most fundamental requirements for effective coaching is the ability to understand others’ motives, values, and goals, not enforcing one’s own on others. A slight variation of the Golden Rule-instead of “treating others as you want to be treated,” coaches should “treat others as they want to be treated.” This means understanding, and accepting, that people are all different. It also means that there is no “script” for coaching-it is different for every person you coach.

The need to understand differences is especially apparent in the ongoing conflict between Baby Boomers and Generation X. These struggles are rooted in the desire (on both sides) to want everyone to be alike. This would certainly make our lives and relationships easier, but it is not based in reality. Of course, clashes between generations are not new. Remember the generation gap in the 1960s between the Boomers and the Silent Generation?

The fact remains that Generation X are the employees in the workforce today; they are the future. They aren’t going away, nor are they likely to conform to the previous generation’s definition of work. Boomer managers cannot continue to ignore Xers’ differences and try to manage them according to their own mindset. This does not mean agreement with an Xer’s attitude but, understanding them to make coaching easier. The better you know them, the more likely you are to have insight to their “hot buttons”-what motivates them. And, at the very best, understanding them may begin to remove the conflict and hostility that exists between the generations and will lead to positive actions and results that are mutually beneficial to the individual and the organization.

The problem with generalizations is that they only go so far and stereotyping runs the risk of alienation. There are always exceptions to the rule, those who will say “that’s not me”. I can sometimes identify with Boomers and sometimes with Xers (you guess my age!). It is impossible to suggest a prototype for how to coach 46-85 million people. As a start, the generalizations made here are based on a review of the relevant literature and personal observations/discussion with coaches-all with the hope of understanding this generation and offering suggestions on how to effectively coach them. To successfully coach and help Generation X, we must learn what they want, how they feel, and how they view their world.

WHAT WON’T MOTIVATE?

Generation X won’t do things because they have a deep sense of mission, or loyalty to an organization. They have nothing but disdain for corporate politics and bureaucracy and don’t trust any institution. They grew up watching their parents turn into workaholics, only to be downsized and restructured out of their chosen careers. They believe work is a thing you do to have a life (work doesn’t define their life).

During the practice situations in our coaching workshops, the coach will often say-”Your behavior is affecting the company and if you don’t change, we won’t be in business in the long term.” They raise the company flag and pull out the loyalty line. This means nothing to Xers-it will not capture their interest, raise their awareness, or stir them to new thoughts, feelings, and actions.

Xers have no expectation of job security, so they tend to see every job as temporary and every company as a stepping stone to something better, or at least to something else. They have been accused of not wanting to pay their dues. But, in today’s changing workplace, anyone who is thinking about doing a job long enough to pay dues is out of touch!

Because they won’t put in long hours at what they mostly term “dead end” jobs (Douglas Coupland coined the term “Mcjobs,”) and they don’t exhibit the same loyalty as Boomers do towards an organization, they have been called slackers. However, Xers will work very hard for a job that they believe in, for something that challenges them. In a l995 survey, Babson College Professor Paul Reynolds found that “10% of Americans between the ages of 25-34 are actively involved in creating a start-up company, a rate about three times as high as any other age group…it should help dispel once and for all the myth that today’s youth are motivationally challenged.” (U.S. News and World Report, September 23, 1996)

WHAT DOES MOTIVATE?

Value The Individual and Nurture Relationships

Although there doesn’t seem to be one description of Generation X, most will agree that a defining characteristic is that they don’t like to be characterized (as I’m doing in this article!). They don’t want to be treated as a single entity, but want to be looked at as individuals. In addition, this is the first wave of latchkey kids to hit the work force. They are homesick for the home they never had (due to both parents working). Their focus on relationships over achievement is what leads Boomers to complain about their laziness. Isn’t this strong sense of community and personal relationships in the workplace just what we need?

Challenging Work

This generation has sometimes been called the MTV Generation because of their short attention span. Xers want new challenges and the opportunity to build new skills. Training is one of the best motivators. They have a tremendous capacity to process lots of information and concentrate on multiple tasks.

They don’t want to spend a lot of time talking about things or having meetings. They want to get in, do the work, and move on to the next thing. If you’re looking for someone to deliver a report every week, you don’t want an Xer. I recently brought up the subject of understanding twenty-somethings during a coaching workshop. Immediately a manager complained, with a lot of emotion, that kids today don’t want to work and will only stay for a week or so and then leave. Well, the job was very repetitive and offered little challenge. No wonder!

Freedom to Manage Time and Work

Xers don’t want over-your-shoulder, in-your-face managers who constantly check what they’re doing. Perhaps as a result of their latchkey childhood, these young workers are not used to being closely supervised and are remarkably good at working on their own.

Feedback and Recognition

On the other hand, members of Generation X seem to crave time with their bosses and can never get enough feedback on their performance. They may be searching for what was missing when they were growing up. Because of their short attention span, recognition and rewards must arrive quickly. Employee of the month doesn’t do anything for them.

CONCLUSION

The characteristics for which Generation X has received such bad press are the very qualities that make them valuable. We say we want an empowered work force…give Xers the ball and they will run with it…we want a self-directed work force…these workers have been self directed from a very young age…we want computer literacy…Generation X comes out on top…we want flexible, adaptable workers-right on again.

Xers will respond to Boomer managers if they put meaning, into the buzzwords they use so often-empowerment, teamwork, communication. Create an environment where they are challenged by and enjoy their work, where they’re measured on performance rather than on which clothes they wear, where they are informed, included and recognized. Gee, maybe Xers aren’t so different from anyone else!

Please click here to learn more about our Coaching services and the organizations we have served.

Profitable Idea Generation in 4 Steps Using Improv

Wednesday, December 31st, 2008

A large percentage of business are stuck, tied to narrow ways of thinking about themselves and their products. In the business environment you can’t be stuck and survive.

Using the techniques of stage Improv, companies and their employees can free their minds so that profit will follow. If you have ever watched “Whose Line Is It Anyway?”, a comedy sketch show by Drew Carey, then you have seen the techniques of Improv in action.

“Applying Improv skills to a business results in endless possibilities,” said Dina Amadril, owner of Marketing Improv, a Long Beach, CA based training and consulting company. “Improv teaches you to think on your feet. Expose your employees to a Marketing Improv Skill Session and they will return as unstoppable idea generators who wreak profit on your business”

What are the 4 steps to free your mind so that profit will follow?

FOCUS/ ACCEPT/ BUILD/ LET GO

Focus on the present tense. Don’t let any past failures or attempts derail your improv-ing. Attempt to view your product or service as if you are seeing it for the first time. Consider that any path you discard here could have been the path to the future pot of gold.

Accept every idea without judgment. Richard Amadril from Marketing Improv warns “The quickest way to squash idea generation in a group is to have someone pass judgment on an idea, especially if that someone is the Boss”

Build on the ideas presented. Using an Improv technique called “Yes, and…” one idea can sprout into 15 in minutes as Dina Amadril explains, “During the Yes, and … phase of the Improv each participant builds on the others ideas. An idea, ‘We can sell our product in sets’ becomes ‘Yes, and we can color code the sets’, ‘Yes, and we can let the customer choose the color on our website’ Ideas fly when you have no boundaries”

Let go when the time is right. You will notice when the ideas start to lag and people are ready to move on to the next topic. Wrap up the topic with a quick idea review and start on your next topic.

Using this simple four-step Improv technique will help build your business by revealing new paths to profit.

For more information on how Improv can evolve your business visit http://www.marketingimprov.com.

If you are in Southern California attend the Marketing Improv Skill Session on April 22, 2005 information about this event can be found on marketingimprov.com or by calling 562-215-4454.

About Marketing Improv – Marketing Improv helps companies target their resources for maximum impact. Our evolutionary seminars focus on your specific marketing issues, identifying new paths to profit.

Dina Amadril
Marketing Improv
645 Pacific Ave #204
Long Beach, CA 90802
562-215-4454
http://www.marketingimprov.com

Present Moment

Thursday, December 18th, 2008

This is the moment to live, to create the
life that you have imagined moment by moment and
enjoy the greatest peace. Live in this moment and
you will have a peaceful life, and you can direct
the source of flow for everything that you want and
goals that you are inspired towards. The present
moment is a quick brief breath. It is the only
moment that you have to do the work, to dream,
to create, to inspire, to lead, to pick yourself up.
Do you think that you have some day or tomorrow?
No, there is no other day. Because when the next day
comes it is today once again. Your life is made up
of increments of present moments that flow together
to create another present moment, and another.

Your actions in this present moment
determine your future. Is your present moment one of
complaining? So change it in the next present moment.
Is your present moment one of gratitude? Take it to the
next higher level. In this present moment you are
perfectly fine. You don’t need anything. You do not need
to change. You are peaceful. If you choose to change, then
you can do so by focusing on what you want to become.
If you are worrying or fretting, then you are not exactly
in the present moment but you are concerned about a
projected moment somewhere in the future or a moment

that has already passed. These are projected future
moments that may never come to pass. A past moment is
done, but it keeps going on in your mind and your heart.
I wasted a lot of my life worrying about the past and the
future. I realized how much I missed because I was
preoccupied with that future or what was already done that
I wanted to go back in time to change. You can’t change
what is behind you. You can only readjust, readapt,
recreate yourself now. Don’t wait.

Time is always on the move. Do you want to
master something in your life? Spend time now. Do you
want to tell your friends how much you love them?
Take this moment to express it. They won’t
be here tomorrow. Listen to how we always put things
off: Someday I’m going to learn how to paint.
Someday when I have some money. Someday I’m going to travel. Someday I’m going to do volunteer work.
Someday I’m going to learn to ride a horse. Someday
I’m going to write the next great mystery novel. Someday I’m going to make a film.

There are a lot of people who want to get to the end without doing the work and without passing through the moment. Each and every
moment is necessary to arrive at a precise coordinate of an event coming into existence. A book is not written in one day. A defining moment in your life comes about by choice, by preparation, by working through it, and embracing each moment as it presents itself and unfolds. If you are not living completely in the present moment you may miss what is right in front of you. It may be a huge opportunity, or a small pathway, but if you are spending your moment in misery and worry, that also becomes your next moment and maybe your next.

Ask yourself this question. Is my environment controlling me or am I directing myself in the environment? Make a conscious choice in this moment. Really choose the moment. Since now is the only time we fully have, this is the time to put into effect any transformation that we want. For example, so many people have a challenge with their appearance and their weight. Do you want to change your appearance? Do you feel
that you are carrying around too much weight? Are you being controlled by the thought of food or overeating?

This moment is the only one that you have to change it, to say, “I choose to be free of this addiction in this moment. I want to be something different.” If you consistently choose moment by moment, your body will be transformed. If you wish to drop or change a habit, this is the moment to say, “I choose something other than. This no longer works for me.” You can clearly design your life. It starts right now. Forget whatever you did in the past. Don’t concern yourself with your age, or that you may have failed in the past. Take in a big breath, and walk into a new moment. Stop belittling yourself, pick yourself up, clearly think about who and what you want to become and start doing it right now. If you have never done anything like this before, or you don’t fully know how to do it, just let that thought and the fear go. You become by practicing, by doing, by putting one foot in front of the other, by putting one word after the other on a page. If you have always wanted to act in a play, go to a local community theater and make yourself available as an actor. It’s not the big time, but it is fulfilling a part of you that has wanted to be creative. If that is not enough, take acting classes. Learning your craft will hone your skills and open another opportunity for you to step into. If there are no resources around you like that, create a group on your own. Or read the newspaper or any written thing out loud to practice your verbal skills or your interpretation skills.

Whatever is necessary start doing it now. In this moment, call yourself, as you want to become. Don’t criticize or judge your efforts. Just do it now. Some of us use the excuse that we are not talented, or we don’t know how. With the power of the Internet you have unlimited resources of subjects that you can learn and gain knowledge on. If you did something every day for an hour per day, in one year’s time you would have 365 hours under your belt. If you kept at it you would rapidly become an expert. Even if you don’t have an hour per day, start with fifteen minutes or thirty minutes per day. Lets say that you want to become a writer.

If you wrote just one page per day, in one year’s time
you would have a 365 page book written. If you don’t start,
how many pages will you have completed?
You don’t have to quit any job that you have now
while perfecting who you want to become. Just make
time for your new passion, for your dreams, for your
learning, for your creative work. If you feel that you
want to quit your job, know the consequences of that action, that you could be without money or funds until your project gets up and running or
produces some flow or income. Don’t let that stop you,
though. Often times, lack is a great motivator to make s
omething happen. But the point is, experience that present
moment fully. Experience your choices. Experience the
people. If you don’t like your life and you want to
change your future, right now is the moment and the answer.

Yoga Kat aka Katheryn Hoban can be
reached at katscoolcorner@yahoo.com or 201 970-9340

Katheryn Hoban - EzineArticles Expert Author

Yoga Kat–aka Katheryn Hoban is a yoga teacher with twelve years experience. She teaches children’s yoga ages 3-6, and 7-12 and Adults privately in NJ. She is the author the book DAUGHTER BELOVED which will come out next year. She has created a children’s affirmation CD (ages 3-6) and an affirmation CD for adults. Yoga Kat is available for speaking or writing and can be reached at katscoolcorner@yahoo.com or 201 970-9340

Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking

Saturday, December 13th, 2008

Publishing Guidelines: You are welcome to publish this article in its entirety, electronically, or in print fre*e of charge, as long as you include my full signature file for ezines, and my Web site address(http://www.schrift.com)
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Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking

When you need to get up and speak do you feel butterflies in your stomach? Sweaty palms? Dry mouth? Shaking knees and hands? You are not alone. Fear of public speaking is No. 1. Death is No.4. So most people would rather get a root canal and pay their taxes than speak in front of an audience.

Here are a few techniques to help you reduce your nervousness and present like a pro.

1. Before you begin, drink some tepid water, take a few deep breaths and visualize your success.

2. The audience wants you to succeed – so just treat them as your friends and speak in a conversational manner. You don’t use notes when you speak to your friend, so don’t use them now. At the most, you may use some note cards that
include some key words for you to remember.

3. You can relax yourself as well as your audience, if you remember to SMILE! Everyone is more at ease when they see your smile. Better yet, find some humor in the situation and get everyone to laugh, including you.

4. Practice, practice, practice. Getting familiar with your material by speaking often This really helps reduce your tension.

5. Find ways to speak – volunteer as a committee chair, lead a meeting, attend networking meetings so you can introduce yourself often and get comfortable hearing the sound of your voice and words.

6. Then ask yourself the big question: “What’s the worst thing that could happen? No, you won’t faint, or , forget what you plan to say. Remember when you speak to any audience, it is about them, not you. So be present with
them as you would when speaking to your friend.

7. A great way to calm yourself is to arrive early and greet people as they enter the room. This is a way to relax yourself and encourage others to feel friendly towards you before you even start your speech.

8. Think about what you are going to wear. Choose clothing that makes you look good and feel good. Most people delineate their thoughts visually and your audience will form an opinion about you after looking at you for 30 seconds.
My mother always encouraged me to “dress up” before taking a final exam – she said, “If you want a high grade, then look the part.”

9. If you really want to be a masterful speaker, hire a speech coach . . . like me. No serious athlete or professional speaker would get very far without a coach.

10. And, finally, focus on having fun. President Theodore Roosevelt said, “If you can’t find a way to make public speaking fun, why do it?”

COPYRIGHT: ©2005 by Sandra Schrift. All rights reserved

Sandra Schrift 13 year speaker bureau owner and now career coach to emerging and veteran public speakers who want to “grow” a profitable speaking business. I also work with business professionals and organizations who want to master their presentations. Get more speaking skills at our “Summer Sizzle” webpage:
www.schrift.com/summer_sizzle.htm Join my free bi-weekly Monday Morning Mindfulness ezine www.schrift.com/monday.htm

Happiness Is A Natural State of Mind – Claim Yours

Monday, November 17th, 2008

Happiness seems to be elusive for many people. We are asked, “What makes you happy?” as if something can make us happy. Have you watched an infant or a young child? They seem quite ‘happy’ to just ‘BE’no matter what they are doingthey are happy. They are in awe of the world and experience joy with each discovery and accomplishment. Yes, I know children are given every toy imaginable, but the child would be just as happy to have a spoon and metal pan to bang on. Of course children fuss or cry when they are tired, hungry or bored, but while they are physically comfortable and nutritionally satiated, they are ‘happy’ just being.

Unfortunately, when children learn to walk and talk they are told to ’sit down and shut up’i.e. they are subjected to an endless barrage of criticism from those around them. As a result, their psyche becomes filled with negative thoughts that prevent them from experiencing happiness. Children then resort to looking for things outside themselves for happinessthe next toy or thing.

The majority of people arrive into adulthood believing that something will make them happy, such as: when they graduate; when they are twenty-one; when they get a job or get a new job; when they find the right husband/wife; when they buy a bigger or faster car, buy a bigger house, when they get promoted; when they retire, and so on. Happiness, thus, becomes an elusive goal that is anticipated some time in the future. But happiness is not contingent on things or events; it is not a destination, but a state of being. It is not meant to be experienced in the future, but at this very moment, NOWRight Now! Our past is dead and our future is unborn. The only time we live is now. So, the place to be happy is here; the time to be happy is now, and the way to be happy is to make everything we do a moment of awe and wonder, just as you experienced everything as a child.

To regain our natural state of Happiness we need to RELEASE the negativity that clogs our mind. When this is done, we will be free to re-experience our natural state of happiness. It is not what we have, but who we are; not what we possess, but what we enjoy.

How do you get rid of the negativity in your mind? It would be wonderful if the brain had a delete key like a computer. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case. Therefore, we need to be mindful of everything we think and say. For what we think and say is how we create our reality. The way to create a new realitystate of mindis to STOP the old tapes and feed our minds with more nutritional information. We need emotional and spiritual sustenance for the mind, a.k.a vitamins for the mind. Read good booksthere are many excellent titles to choose from.

I will recommend the books I find the most helpful.

• You Can’t Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought, Peter McWilliams

• The Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck

• Conversations With God – Book I, II, III, Neale Donald Walsch

• Friendship With God, Neale Donald Walsch

• The Power of Unconditional Love, Ken Keyes

• How to Know God: The Soul’s Journey Into the Mystery of Mysteries, Deepak Chopra, M.D.

• The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, Deepak Chopra, M.D.

• Love Is Letting Go Of Fear, Gerome Jampolsky, M.D.

• The 7 Habits of Successful People, Steven Covey

• The Book of Secrets: Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life, Deepak Chopra, M.D.

• The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire: Harnessing the Infinite Power of Coincidence,
Deepak Chopra, M.D.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD - EzineArticles Expert Author

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, speaker and inspirational leader. Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life’s challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

Funny or Not, Here I Come

Sunday, November 2nd, 2008

This is about a woman who was determined to become a successful comedian. “As far back as I can remember”, she said, “I wanted a career in show business. And, as far back as I can remember, people were telling me ‘no’.”

She was living in a disgustingly dirty, fleabag hotel and had been turned down by every talent agent in New York, when she got her first job back in 1958. How exciting! Maybe this was her big break. But after her act that first night, the manager called her over. “You’re fired,” he said.

“I was devastated”, she sighed. “Fired! Fired from my first job! I went back to my crummy hotel room and collapsed. I literally could not stop crying.”

Soon she was booked again and then fired from her second job. “There’s just no work,” all the agents would say, shaking their heads, or worse yet, “You’re too old. If you were going to make it, you would have made it by now.” Even her mother told her, “You have no talent. You’re throwing your life away,” while her father threatened to have her committed to a mental institution

“I had no money. My office was a phone booth in Grand Central Station. I lived out of one small suitcase and slept in my car,” said Joan Rivers, famous comedian, author, mother, businesswoman and best known for her Emmy Award-winning television talk show, plus many other outstanding successes.

What does Joan have to say about all those tough pre-success days? “All in all – not an easy time. It did however, serve to shape the determination and an inner strength that I have called on in my life many times since.”

And Joan’s final words to us? “Never stop believing! Never give up! Never quit! Never!”

Katie Byrd will take you by the hand and teach you the skills she’s used to journey from a financially strapped, bad credit nightmare to debt free abundant living. To find out more visit: http://abundanceandwealth.bellaonline.com

Key to success

Friday, October 31st, 2008

Success is a beautiful word and a powerful antidote for failure; it is a well known truth that success drives away failure and makes us happy and prosperous. Simply speaking, the word “success” is related to a positive mental attitude, while failure is genuinely connected to a negative mindset. The rate of success is so rare, while the failure is common among all walks of human life. Now, is it really possible that any work or task we do or undertake in our daily life culminates in a perfect, fairytale ending? Probably the answer is a positive NO! Because success eludes most of us, due to many reasons and factors. Most of the highly successful people attain such a level of success by applying many established keys to success.

It is always possible to attain success, so long as you understand the key factors that can create this condition. Whatever you do, in your field of work or the way, in which you work to attain your personal goals, there are some essential requirements, which need to be fulfilled to achieve a fair degree of success in your personal life. Also called KEYS TO SUCCESS, these principles are time tested and proved again and again in the past by many of the highly successful people.

Possibly the most important factor while achieving success is, how determined are you to achieve your ultimate goal. Are you motivated enough to achieve a fair degree of success in a stipulated time frame? What is the measure of your level of perseverance and determination to attain the cherished success? Your decision, determination, attention, and a burning desire to achieve the ultimate success are your important keys to your success. If you’re determined to achieve personal success, you’ll need to release your inner energy to focus on the ultimate goal. Your total commitment to the goal is based on knowledge and meaning of the requirements of the success act, and the mandatory role of both favorable and opposing factors.

The role of positive attitude in everything we do or perform can not be contested and a positive mind is a healthy mind, capable of achieving any success and objectives. One of the most important keys to success is a positive mind, with a right attitude. You may need to inculcate positive attitude or postures in your daily life, to make your life positive and beautiful. To be positive, you may need to drive away all negative attitudes, sentiments and feelings from your mind, so that your personality becomes equipped with a positive energy to achieve even the most impossible of all goals.

Whatever the attitude you have, it is worthless unless you have a solid action plan or a series of goals. These are probably the most difficult keys to your ultimate success. All great accomplishments and deeds in the past history are borne out of solid goals and action plans. Always attach a timeline tag to your goals and action plans. A clear-cut deadline will ensure personal success and this may not look as easy as you feel and believe. Goals are difficult to achieve, but not impossible! Feel the pain to gain! Be focused and attain your personal success.

Fear Emotions – Positive or Negative?

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

What is fear’s purpose? How do you handle it? While I am
working in my pest control business, I meet people on an
almost daily basis who are influenced by negative fear
thoughts regarding pests invading their premises. A good
size spider, rat, or unexpected insect can set someone off
pretty quickly, and literally immobilize them. It consumes
their thoughts to the point where they have trouble thinking
about anything else.

Thinking about why people do this, makes me wonder about the
purpose of Fear emotions. I really started wondering as to
how many people really do allow Fear, anxiety, worry, etc.
to freeze them into inaction in everyday life. They achieve
a very negative result, one which I have to think, is not
what they really want.

Fear – What is it’s purpose? Do you let fear immobilize you
or do you act in spite of it, safely, consciously aware of
why it is there?

Personally, I look upon fear as a positive emotion. I know
that uncontrolled this emotion can breed many negative
results. But when controlled, this emotion can spur you
into action like no other I know of. And I think that this
is truly the reason for fear. Think of it as your best
friend, preparing you for progress. Make friends with the
unknown.

We should acknowledge the fear we are experiencing. Allow
that it is a positive thing within us that warns us of some
impending danger or harm. And then, analyze it to see if it
is real or imagined, justified or not. When we recognize
it’s positive intent, it is no longer something to
immobilize us, but quite the reverse, we can jump into
action to remedy ‘why’ we are fearful.

I think that it is the inaction bred by over-analyzing, by
focusing on the fear, actually dwelling on it, imagining
the ‘what ifs’, that keeps us from taking the actions
necessary to move though it. We need to process it, not
dwell in it. I’m sure everyone has heard the old expression,
‘A coward dies a thousand deaths, a brave person, only one.’
We do not want to hold the FEAR thought. That is not what it
is there for.

As long as we focus on the positive intent a fearful state
represents, rather on the fear itself, we can question
ourselves as to what this fear is trying to tell us to do,
and take the necessary actions to protect ourselves or
blast us though this perceived barrier.

All we have to know is, `What is really going on here?’
What do I need to do in order for me to feel better about
moving forward? Or do I really need to back off from this
course? Do I need to take another smaller action (baby
step) or do I just need to change my perception about what
is going on here?

Then, move forward in some direction no matter how small a
step it seems. Usually just taking action and the momentum
you gain and feel, will free you from the fearful,
concerned, worried feeling you had.

Do you have something bothering you, or something you have
been putting off, or dreading? Something you know you must
do, but just haven’t been able to face up to the task? Break
it down until there is something you can move forward with.
Take it in baby steps, take action. Do it and then
celebrate the victory! Feel your confidence grow!

Your mind can only hold one thought at a time. Make it an
action thought that empowers you.

This is only one person’s opinion, but I feel it is better
to believe in something beneficial that I can take control of,
rather than be at it’s mercy!.

Al Smith, Copyright 2005

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Al Smith writes for and publishes The
Realgoalgetter Blog, The Realgoalgetter Ezine and The
Realgoalgetter Website. His articles deal with goal setting,
self improvement, and motivation. Subscribe FREE to The
Realgoalgetter Ezine at: http://www.realgoalgetter.com/ezines/

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Is Fear Killing Your Dreams?

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face…You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” – Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962).

When I came to live in England in 1996, I was shocked to discover that a crook had already hijacked my birth certificate and used it to collect my National Insurance card, credit card, and even opened a bank account. I also discovered I was purportedly married. Everywhere I went, I was told somebody was bearing my name. At a stage the authorities did not know who the real Dayo Olomu was. Fear hit me in the face and it nearly killed my dream. Though it took me two years to sort everything out but I resolved that fear will not kill my dream. Today the rest is history.

FEAR is an ancient topic in the history of human race. It is enough to make one sick. It causes some people a constant and gnawing pain in the pit of the stomach. Others drink more or smoke more because of fear. It has killed many dreams and ruined several careers than all other causes combined. The number one killer of our dreams at work and at home is fear.

The longer I live, the more I realize that fear is the worst enemy of the human species. And it’s been with us since the beginning. The Holy Bible, Torah and Koran spoke exhaustively about fear.

In fact, it seems the older we get the more prone we are to allowing fear to control our lives and destroy our dreams.

Stop and think about it. Most children are fearless unless an adult has already instilled fear in them. Teenagers and even young adults continue to display mostly courageous attitudes. But as we grow, we become more fearful. Perhaps we realise there is a lot at stake at that point. Any mistake could be life-changing. We should gradually become more fearless with age because wisdom, which usually comes with age, makes us more apt to see the truth in a situation.

That fear is a myth, a creation of a weak mind, is illustrated by this acronym: FEAR- False Evidence Appearing Real.

I have many friends who were once seemingly fearless super-achievers; however, having reached their middle ages they have become more fearful that the quality of their lives have significantly suffered. They have surrendered their dreams and, literally their life to some type of fear – fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of change, fear of success, fear of making decisions, fear of responsibility, and/or fear of commitment. It is fear, and all of its cousins (such as worry, anxiety, depression, and self-doubt), that will turn your dream of success into a chilling nightmare that haunts you into psychological paralysis.

Often people say to me, ‘I can’t afford to pursue my dream because I don’t have enough money.’ I ask them how much they need to pursue such dreams. Usually the answer is, ‘I don’t know, but I know I don’t have enough.’ The same with time. Are you complaining that you don’t have the time to pursue your dreams or that you are busy, while never actually scheduling an hour to see how you might break your dream into smaller projects? Jim Rohn, America’s foremost business Philosopher once said: “Don’t mistake movement for achievement. It’s easy to get faked out by being busy. The question is: busy doing what?”

Reiterating his words, Vic Johnson, founder of AsAManThinketh.net said “Fear can be defeated because fear is a learned response in the first place. It’s said that we were only born with two fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. Every other fear you have was learned!”

One of the greatest ways to conquer fear and keep our dream alive is to use our faith. To use the words of Professor Tam David-West, Nigeria’s former Petroleum Minister in an interview he granted to Nigeria’s ThisDay Newspaper on July 20, 1997, “Be not afraid. Hold on to your Faith with the buoyant hope and divine assurance that all will be well.” Personally, I find solace in the scripture which says “God has not given us the spirit of fear but the spirit of love, power and a sound mind.” Moreover, the word ‘fear not’ is recorded 365 times in the Bible, which means that everyday, there is one to use.

I am a believer in the philosophy of the mountain climbers who say, “I will climb the mountain. They have told me it’s too high, it’s too far, it’s too steep, it’s too rocky, and it’s too difficult. But it’s my mountain. I will climb it. You’ll soon see me waving from the top or you’ll never see me, because unless I reach the peak, I’m not coming back.” Who can argue with such resolve? Jim Rohn once said: “When confronted with such iron-will determination, I can see time, fate and circumstances calling a hasty conference and deciding, ‘we might as well let him have his dream’. He’s said he’s going to get there or die trying.”

One thing you must never allow fear to do is to stop you from achieving your dream. Never stop until all your dreams come true. Remember, obstacles and fear are the things you see when your eyes are off the target.

Dayo Olomu is a UK-based Motivational Speaker, Writer, Business/Life Coach, Trainer, Media Entrepreneur and Competent Toastmaster. His core belief is that we are all endowed with seeds of greatness, and his mission is to help individuals and organisations achieve their full potentials. He is the author of best selling “4 Indispensable Strategies for Success” and the President of Croydon Communicators Toastmasters. Get his FREE monthly Rise to the Top ezine by sending a blank email to subscribe@dayoolomu.com or visit his website at: www.dayoolomu.com